Building Confidence as an EMDR Therapist with Carly Costello
What helps EMDR therapists feel grounded in their work—and build the kind of confidence that lasts?
In our June 2025 Community Conversation, we welcomed EMDR Consultant and Dharma Dr. Partner Carly Costello alongside neuropsychologist Dr. Amy Serin, PhD, BCN, to explore the clinical, personal, and practical sides of growing as an EMDR therapist. From early training nerves to finding flow with Dharma Dr. Tabs, this conversation explored what it takes to grow real confidence—and stay grounded—through every phase of your EMDR journey.
— Watch the full conversation below, or read on for key highlights —
Key Takeaways
Confidence Comes with Practice—Not Just Training
Carly spoke openly about the nerves that followed her EMDR basic training. Like many clinicians, she worried about doing it “right”—choosing the correct target, following the perfect protocol. Her message to others: keep showing up. Confidence builds through practice, not perfection, and consultation makes all the difference.
Normalize the Work by Owning Your Experience
By sharing her own EMDR journey—including how one practicum session resolved her chronic sleep issues—Carly reminds us that authenticity goes a long way. When therapists can normalize the power of EMDR from lived experience, they help clients feel safer and more receptive to the work.
Why Tactile BLS Tools Matter in Real Practice
Carly and Dr. Serin both emphasized the value of tactile bilateral stimulation—not just as a protocol element, but as a flexible, intuitive tool that supports regulation across the therapeutic arc. Carly shared how she uses Dharma Dr. Tabs during resourcing, active processing, and even at intake to help clients settle.
For clients with ADHD, perfectionism, or high sensitivity to eye movements or sound, tactile stimulation offers a smoother path to focus and comfort. Dr. Serin expanded on the neuroscience: tactile BLS engages the brain’s salience network and thalamus directly, creating rapid shifts in the stress response and setting the stage for more efficient processing.
Let Go of “Doing It Right”
EMDR’s structure can be comforting—but for many new clinicians, it can also become a pressure trap. Carly reflected on her early days, when she carried laminated scripts and second-guessed every decision. Over time, she let go of rigidity:
“At first I was so scared of doing it wrong... and now I just trust the process, and I trust the client. I think that's something that comes with time.”
Pattern Interrupts Are the Engine of Change
Dr. Serin explained that much of EMDR’s impact comes from pattern interruption—disrupting the brain’s default stress responses so new neural pathways can take hold. Tools like the Tabs help facilitate that shift even outside of formal processing, desensitizing reactivity in real time and supporting integration between sessions.
Therapists Need Regulation, Too
Carly emphasized that staying grounded as a therapist is just as important as helping clients regulate. Dharma Dr. Tabs are as much a part of her personal regulation routine as they are a support tool for clients in session—used when she’s stressed, overwhelmed, or simply needs a moment of reset.
Learn More & Explore the Tabs
We’re proud to partner with clinicians like Carly, who are helping shape the future of trauma-informed care. Learn more about her work at emdrwithcarly.com.
Interested in exploring the Tabs for your own practice? Apply to partner with us →
